“I will be filled with joy because of You. I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High.” Psalm 9:2 This Christmas is different from any other in my life. This year, God gave me an amazing gift…forgiveness. If you’ve read much of my writing, you know that I had a less than desirable relationship with my Dad over the years. Christmas was always the time to try to “make up” for all of the wrongs that he had done all year. Each year, I carried anger, hurt, disappointment, and bitterness around in my heart. I think it truly impaired the beauty of any experience with my family. I always worried about the right time to call so that I could catch him sober. Making sure I sent the right gift so that he didn’t take his disappointment out on Mom, and then the feelings of never being enough.
I’m blessed this Christmas to have been given the gift of forgiveness. During the time dealing with Dad’s continually declining health over the past few months, I learned to forgive him. Forgiving meant letting go of the bitterness in my heart, and turning off the “repeat” button on the instant replay of hurts in my life. It meant learning to have compassion for a man who hurt Mom and me terribly over the years. It meant letting that horrible, dark cloud that hung in my soul depart. I gave it to the Lord, and He took it away.
Not only God remove it, He replaced it with a new sense of joy, contentment, and feelings of being enough. For the first time in my life, I’m truly enough. I know it because God has told me, not because Dad has. You see, my earthly father may never change his outlook on life, but it’s not his opinion that matters to me anymore. My heavenly father loves me. He’s so crazy about me that He sent His only Son to die for me. He has told me over and over again that I am enough. This year, I finally believe it. I am enough! Dear sister, so are you!
I pray that this Christmas you too can celebrate the joy of forgiveness for hurts that have followed you around for far longer than they should have. I pray that you will find contentment, and realize that you truly are enough! Ephesians 2:4-5 says, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Our God is such a merciful Father! He saved me…I pray you have allowed Him to save you too.
This Christmas, as you recover from all of the food, gatherings, and busyness that is part of the holidays. I pray that you will take time to stop for a few moments. Just take a minute to linger with the Lord, even if the only escape is an extra minute in the bathroom before little fingers begin to appear under the door. Remember that God loves you, and He provided you the greatest gift you could ever receive…He gave you Jesus. And…because of Jesus, and His death on the cross, you dear sister are Enough!