Yesterday, we took a trip down pancake lane. I mean memory lane, with my sweet Gram. We also learned in 2 Corinthians 2:9 that we don’t have to be perfect because God is. He is perfect in our weakness. So why don’t we cling to that reality? Why don’t we grasp onto the power of Jesus? Why do we continue to question our self worth? Because my sister, we are in a battle. A battle with team Enemy.
Team Enemy plays dirty. His team comes “…only to steal and kill and destroy.” His battle plan is right there in John 10:10. Then there is team Jesus. His battle plan is published right in John 10:10 as well. Jesus…he comes, ” that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Now it seems clear to me that we should all want to be on team Jesus. I mean, who wouldn’t want life abundant? Team Enemy knows that team Jesus is perfect, everlasting, life giving, life saving, and where every person should desire to be…so he plays dirty.
You know that brick wall of you’re nots that we’ve previously tried to unload? Well…team Enemy just pushed it right out in front of us! He takes those heavy bricks with those horrible, hurtful labels on them, and hurls them at us. He aims at our heads, and our hearts every chance he gets. He especially loves to chuck them at our heads, pelting our minds with all of the you’re nots so that we will take our minds off of the promises of God, and start trying to fight under our own power to avoid those bricks. Throwing them at our hearts in hopes of destroying our joy; in hopes of making us leave team Jesus and walk under our own power. He’s chanting “Red rover, red rover, come on over”, begging us to turn our backs on all that Jesus has to offer. It’s when we get hurt and frustration sets in that he continues to attack with intention of moving us to what appears to be the winning team. It’s the easy team. On the surface, it appears safe, easy, rewarding…safe. So, we try to walk under our own power, and team Enemy gets excited. He desires to hurt and weaken us. He wants to see us dying. He wants us gone. Team Enemy throws damaging memory bricks our way. I recently took one to the head. That same brick to the head has hit many times during my life. Just when I’m completely committed to team Jesus. Clunk…that darn brick hits.
I’m walking along at the age of 13 or 14, thinking I’m navigating well. Navigating 80’s fashion trends, and clouds of Aqua Net hairspray. There comes the brick! Team Enemy throws a powerful you’re not. It’s the one where my step-father points out to me, in one of his drunken ramblings, that “you have a big butt and no chest.” The you’re not was accompanied by a “let’s make you incredibly uncomfortable because your Dad is looking at your body. Eeeeeww! That brick really did some damage. It left a 40 year wound in the form of “you need to lose weight.” In addition to other deep rooted issues with self esteem and intimate relationships. Yep, that one left a mark!
I remember how my posture deflated. Tears filled my eyes a I retreated to my room. That’s where team Enemy really played dirty. The Enemy whispered how worthless I was, while over and over the tears of my youth fell. As an adult woman, I can lob that brick back at team Enemy and make my mark! “I praise you [Lord] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14 Take that!
As a decades older woman, I look back at that young woman of my youth and ask, “why sweet girl, did you let him have that power over you?” Today, I look in the mirror and exclaim, “Don’t you ever let him have that power over you again!” In Jesus’ name, today I win that battle. So can you my sister! So can you!