I’ve recently been seeing God work in my life in an incredible way. Within the past couple of months, I have been blessed with godly women in my life who are helping me deal with past hurts from abuse, feelings of inadequacy due to chronic illness, and low self esteem. Yep! Just being real here ladies. I was a low point within myself for quite some time.
I’ve been a daughter of the King for sometime now. I know in my mind that I’m His, that He loves me, that I’m beautiful in His eyes…and all of the other beautiful words of affirmation the Lord provides us in his love letter to us. Yet, my heart was struggling to match my head knowledge. Then, in one swoop, the Lord told me that this doubt had gone on for long enough! He has plans for me, and he is going to use the wilderness times in my life to show his power and glory to others. Well, when the Lord speaks to you in that way, you best sit up and listen! Better yet…hold on for the ride. He is about to do great things!
God introduced me to a christian counselor who has a background similar to mine. She too experienced life as the child of an alcoholic, and dealt with all that comes from that. She understood the emotional abuse I faced, and she wanted me to claim the truth God has presented in his word. The truth that I am HIS! He will never leave me or forsake me. While my earthly father may have let me down, my heavenly father never will.
It wasn’t much after my heart started to agree with what my mind was saying, I was asked to help lead a Bible study. I prayed and prayed about which one to share. I kept coming back to “One in a Million” by Priscilla Shirer. “But I’ve already done that one Lord” is all I could keep saying. I had completed that study 6 years earlier, why would I do it again? I kept arguing with God. You know how we do. We try to reason with him, question him, and redirect him. Why I do that is beyond me. Why any of us do is crazy. He is GOD! He is going to get his way. This situation would be no different.
One morning while I was curling my hair and God was trying once again to convience me to listen to him and to lead “One in a Million”, He said something profound. “My child, if my word is living, active, and new everytime you read it, then why can’t the study of my word be the same.” Y’all, that hit me like a ton of bricks! Who says just because I completed a study once before it can’t show me beautiful things about God once again! At that moment I decided to be obedient and lead.
Ove the last several weeks, I have been working each night in my study guide. This week the Lord really shook me to the core with thoughts of a mountain. I was reading of how he was leading the Israelites to Sinai for a stop. They were going to camp at the base of the mountain. In Exodus 19:2 it says, “When they set out from Rephidim, they came to the winderness of Sinai and camped in the wilderness: and there Israel camped in front of the mountain.” They camped in front of God’s mountain. It was on that very mountain, that God showed himself to Moses. He revealed himself.
Make no mistake, by camping at God’s mountain, the Israelites were waiting for God. They were positioning themselves expectantly to see what God would reveal. It was at this mountain that God drew them closer to him. It was at this mountin that he claimed them as his own. Then, it all made sense to me. I’m in a bit of a wilderness right now in my life. I’m praying for a miracle and nothing is happening. I’m getting frustrated, impatient, complaining, and fearful. Then, I had a V8 moment! If I don’t take time to camp at God’s mountain, and to look for him with expectancy, then I’m not going to see him. How can I see him if I’m not looking? I’m so busy complaining and trying to make things work. You know…trying to force the square peg in the round hole kind of making things work. I’m so busy praying for what miracle I desire, that I could be missing the miracles God is actually performing.
I want to camp at his mountain and wait. I want to look to the mountain and be expectant of what he has to show me. I want the Lord to reveal himself to me. I want my burning bush moment. They only way that’s going to happen is if I camp. Wait. Be still. Look. Friend, are you struggling with missing the miracles God is putting right before you because you too are rushing passed the campsite? I pray that you, like I, will slow down and camp at the base of God’s mountain with expectancy. I’m willing to bet our burning bush is right around the corner.