Black and white

imageSome days are simply black and white.  It’s certainly not the norm for me, but some days it’s all black and white…colorless.  No, not my choice of fashion, rarely is that ever black and white.  I’m a colorful chick!  I love bright jewel toned tops, sweaters, purses and shoes.  Now, the bottom side is usually black or blue jean.  I carry quite a bit of junk in this trunk, so I go for slimming on the bottom and hello Fabulous on the top!  Yet somedays, this chronic illness warrior gets worn out…tired, and just cant seem to put one foot in front of the other. It’s those days that my life is black and white.

If you haven’t discovered it by now, I love artful worship.  Bible journaling is my favorite, but sometimes just beautiful artful interpretations of scripture make my heart beat faster.  I love how my time creating an artful representation of God’s word draws me closer to him.  I typically use color in some way, shape, or form.  Except for the days when the illnesses attack this body harder than I’m used to.  It’s not uncommon for Thursday to be a day where my body retreats to bed, and my spirit tries to be still.  Wednesday night is the when I take toxic medications to try to help fight these crazy diseases.  Often Thursday my body needs extra rest to digest the “poison” as I call it, and begin to prepare for another week of attack on these diseases.  This week, Thursday is my “be still” day.  However, don’t miss this y’all, just because I’m being still does not mean I’m not in worship with my Lord.

“Still” does not mean out of touch for me.  Still days offer me an opportunity to spend even more time in prayer, and meditation with God.  It is days like today where, while I may be physically weak, my soul is strong.  Today, as I was laying in bed, the Holy Spirit urged me to grab the sketchbook and a pen while laying.  He put grace upon my heart, and songs of worship in my mind.  It was then that this weak, tired body mustered up the energy to write and draw.  By the end of the time illustrating what God had put on my soul, I was too tired to add color.  Thus, today became a black and white day.  It was today that God sent me a special lesson through those black and white drawings.

12318281_10207895576450469_578216245_oGod doesn’t care if my artful worship is embellished and full of color.  He’s not looking for fancy.  I know He happily accepts it when that is my offering, but on days like today, He tells me that He is simply thankful for our time together.  It was today that He reminded me that His word is beautiful, colorful, perfect, elegant, embellished, and living.  It has an amazing purpose.  My dear sister, God’s word is His emotional love letter to us!  It’s our instruction manual for living.  It’s our hope when times are difficult, it’s our praise when times are powerful, it’s God’s word.  Today, He reminded me that it doesn’t matter how fancy my worship to Him may appear, it only matters that I keep my focus on Him.12325791_10207894831791853_2106258887_o

Are you tired tonight?  Worn, frustrated, depressed, stressed out?  Worship the Lord.  Are you happy, excited, hopeful, satisfied?  Worship the Lord.  Are you weak and weary?  Worship the Lord.  We have been bought and paid for by His blood.  He has poured His grace out upon us, and never once will He ever expect works…or color from us.  He desires our reverence, worship and love.  So while there may not be color on my page today, God has poured bright, bountiful color into my life.  He has given me His word, His grace, and His love.  For that dear sister, I am incredibly thankful.

Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; It is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”


2 thoughts on “Black and white

  1. Diane Marra says:

    Tonya, you are such a blessing. I am so sorry to hear of your chronic illness. God uses your hands and heart to talk to you and for you to share HIS heart with others. I love reading your posts each day.

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