When did it change? When did the years of believing I was unworthy, and lacked value suddenly change? For as long as I could remember in my life, if someone asked me “Do you consider yourself valuable?” My answer would have been no. I was walking through this life filled with the uns and the nots. You know them don’t you? Unworthy, uninteresting, unintelligent, not good enough, not tall enough, not thin enough, not talented, not a good enough wife, not a good mother, not worth anything…uns and nots. Somewhere along the line in my life, I went through the buffet line of negativity and lack of self-esteem piling my plate to new heights. Then, I consumed that heaping helping. It went straight to my spirit, and I became what I ate. At least I believed I had.
Many times in my life I doubted my worth and my purpose. At one time in my life, I questioned whether I should even exist in this world. I lived life behind a shattered window. My view distorted by the cracks and patterns in the glass. Then one day, the light shone through that glass in such a magnificent way. It reflected beauty, brilliance, joy, value, and I knew then that I wanted what was on the other side of that glass. I stepped out from my broken existence and saw Jesus. My life changed forever.
I wasn’t looking for Him when I found Him. I was walking what I thought was a path back to the christian life I had turned my back to many years previous. That path what pretty on the top, but littered with pot holes and pits into which my uncoordinated body could easily fall. Getting out of those pits was challenging…exhausting. I didn’t have the strength to crawl out of them. So I began to tunnel one pit to the next.
There’s a problem with living in pits. Actually there are several problems. The greatest one being a lack of light. Humans like plants need light to grow. It nurtures our bodies and our minds. Pit living was depriving me of the nourishment my body needed. One day, after having felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit for some time, I decided it was time to give up pit dwelling forever. It was then I cried out to Jesus. Just as Psalm 18:6 tells us, “…in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.”
Yes dear Sister, my cry reached His mighty ears. He swooped down into that very pit where I had been dwelling. and He rescued me. He placed my feet on solid ground illuminated by the light of Christ, and my life has never been the same again. He replaced by broken window to the world with beautiful new, flawless glass. The uns and the nots were forever removed by God, replaced by the reality of life. The truth dear Sister is the same for me as it is for you! God loves you! He created you for a purpose. He writes it in His mighty Word. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”Jeremiah 29:11 is all that I need to believe on the days when I nearly fall back into pit dwelling.
Oh dear Sister, like me, God has plans for you! He gives you hope and a beautiful future. Are you viewing life through a broken window that is distorting your vision? Are you eating and believing the uns and the nots that the enemy likes to serve up to you? No longer do you need to consume it, look through it, or to it. All you need is to cry out to the Lord, and He will rescue you. He did it for me, and He will do it for you.