Angry and Frustrated Why Then Should I Rejoice

It was one of those days when I awakened agitated.  Just angry, frustrated and out of sorts.  Does that ever happen to you?  I was feeling defeated before my feet ever touched the floor.  Cranky, agitated, frustrated, and defeated.  Why can’t I just roll over and go back to sleep. I really have no desire to see this day.

Then, it struck me…I haven’t been in God’s Word.  You see, for several days I’ve been in overwhelming pain.  I usually have a very high tolerance for pain since I’m a fibromyalgia and rheumatoid warrior.  Oh, but this pain was something else.  I couldn’t even more my arm.  I was turned into a crying pile of myself in an instant.  What on earth was going on?  

After a visit to my primary care doctor, and a visit to our local orthopedic walk in clinic, it was determined that I most likely have a degenerated disk in my neck.  Possibly two.  One or both are probably pressing on my nerve bundle causing this crazy pain.  I’ve stayed out of God’s Word because I haven’t been able to concentrate to read, let alone journal in worship as I normally do.  I’ve been in prayer a great deal, but to be honest, it has been whiny, me centered prayer.  I was being distracted by the enemy.  That reality washed over me like a wave overtaking the sands of the beach.  I was being beaten down with pain, and the enemy was taking hold of my weakness.  

Psalm 73Immediately I decided I would not let him win!  No. Not today satan!  Not today!  The pain that I an enduring can in no way relate to the pain Christ endured on the cross. Y’all, I jumped out of my bed…well, waddled out of bed. But it felt like I was jumping over a huge hurdle.  I was jumping over that pit the enemy had placed below my feet as he expectantly waited for his prey to fall.  Then, it happened.  I started praying, singing praises, and talking to God.  Not telling Him what I needed. Rather, I was celebrating what I still have.  Anger, frustration and defeat were replaced with joy in the Lord.  Then, the Lord led me to Psalm 73: 23-28 

 

“Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
24 You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
26 My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
28 But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
That I may declare all Your works.”

At that moment, I claiPsalm 73-74med these truths.  The Lord is always with me. Today, I’m thankful He holds me by my right hand, since the left isn’t working to well.  Oh, and I’m thankful that this pain and weakness has taken over my left hand…because I’m right handed.  Lord, please guide me, and I will give you all of the glory.  You are beside me even when my flesh and my heart fail.  You are my strength forever. Draw me close to you Lord, and I will announce all of Your works Father.  Lord, please show up big!

Dear Sister, do you need to conquer the enemy?  Why not claim the Lord as your rock and your strength?  While our flesh my fail, God is our strength forever!  

Yes, I’m still in pain.  Yes, I’m still frustrated as I await an appointment with a neurosurgeon.  What I’m not…alone!  God goes before me, behind me, and walks beside me.  He will do the same for you!

P.S.  The enemy isn’t stopping me from my artful worship with the Lord either!  It’s not about my perfection, it’s about HIS!

7 thoughts on “Angry and Frustrated Why Then Should I Rejoice

  1. Angela says:

    Wonderful post, a message I needed to hear since I have a lot of pain, not excruciating pain, just persistent nagging pain. It steals my joy and my creativeness. I need help saying “Praise the Lord” because
    I think God will think I don’t mean it.

  2. Tonya Andrews says:

    He knows your heart Angela. I think He also knows that some days are an incredible struggle for us to find joy and to sing praise. It’s then, that He lifts us up. I’m learning to be thankful for sunshine, blooming flowers, and my family. More so than ever, I realize that God has blessed me with an amazing family. You can do this Angela! Maybe today, the only thing you can sing praise for is opening your eyes. It’s still a praise!

  3. Angela says:

    I don’t know why, but your reply bought tears to my eyes! You are so right, we have a wonderful God who is worthy of total praise. I need to focus more on Him than myself, hope you are feeling better than you were the other day xx

  4. Tonya Andrews says:

    Awe, I’m so glad you see the need to rely on Him! I struggle to remember that myself. Today is a much better day. Thank you!

  5. judi says:

    Tonya, I have been following you for about three months now and so enjoy your messages. I am so sorry you are in pain and I will pray for you and your appointment with a neurosurgeon. I understand the issues you deal with as I have a daughter-in-law going through those same issues with lupus as well. I have M.S. and a great deal of pain and fatigue as well as degenerative disc disease and a few other issues that have caused me to have chronic pain. Like you I would prefer to look to the Lord for my comfort, that is not to say that some days are harder than others but I know God is going to lead me through each day, one day at a time. I hope you will post about your trip to the neurosurgeon, I had to see one about a year ago but my mind wasn’t into surgery. So far I am doing okay but know that trip will come again, but until it does I am ever so grateful for my Almighty God. My prayers will be with you for the pain you are experiencing. You are indeed a wonderful woman of God.

    • Tonya Andrews says:

      Judi,

      Thank you so much for your post! I will add you and your daughter-in-law in my prayers. I have fibromyalgia, lupus, Osteo-arthritis, and rheumatoid. While it seems so many of us live in pain each day, I’m finding that by being willing to share our burdens with others, the Lord blessed us with people who understand. Our greatest victory as children of God is one day we will walk without pain! Hugs to you!

  6. judi says:

    Thank you Tonya for adding my daughter-in law an myself to your prayers, we really appreciate all prayers. I am so sorry you have so many health issues but so grateful you are a SHINING light for God, you are what God wants for all of His children. You are so right, as the children of God we will one day walk without pain!

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